The art of be(coming) a New Yorker.

1. You always have an umbrella on you, preferably black.
2.You must be fashion forward, always wear black, look like a Kate Spade model or grunge hipster. Outside of the business district to the Upper East Side there will be exceptions (Im not counting tourists)
3.You must love bagels and be horrified by western bagel chains.
4.You wear heavy jackets until the end of May, even though everyone visiting New York thinks you're insane.
5. You will have a coffee place you frequent and a grocery store or bodega where you know the owners and people that go there too.
6.You never apologize.
7.You have a big ego.
8.You get angry and tell people off but forget about it 2 minutes later. (No passive/aggressive, just aggressive.)
9.You also have a local bar  (or dance club) where you and other co-workers frequent. (Unless you are me and you make friends with the local grocers where you get your diet coke every morning..so..I guess that is my local "bar")
10. If you are a socialite or member of the NYC yacht club, you will be up-to-date on the most frequent exhibits at popular museums, the poshest parties, and celebrity charities. If you are in my opinion a real New Yorker you don't have time for shows, museums, or sight-seeing because you are too busy working. When you have a vacation you spend it at home or go somewhere warm.
11.You don't say excuse me to people you just elbow your way out and act exasperated.
12.You tell strangers how you feel about them, when necessary.
13. You never stop in the middle of the sidewalk.
14.You chain smoke and drink lots of alcohol and yet work out at an over priced gym frequently.
15.You know the flow of traffic and are irritated by anyone who doesn't.
16.You don't wait for stop lights you cross the street wherever and whenever you want.

Of course this is mostly a joke and yet not completely. :) I don't drink, smoke or party so I guess this doesn't work for me. My sister did however tell me I am unsympathetic. There is no crying in New York!! I guess it rubbed off on me after all.